when doctors meet consultants: Part 1
by robofox
Summary: when investigating a murder, Patrick Jane and the CBI come across a man who claims to be with the British intelligence. with a few laughs and investigations, Jane and the doctor will realise the importance of friendship as they track down a "human" killer
1. how Jane met Smith

One random day…

Patrick Jane watched as the body was being examined, with a certain disgust in his mouth. Kimball Cho walked up to the body, with Teresa Lisbon behind him.

"Jane," said Lisbon with a certain Alarm. "Are you just gonna stand there and watch? It's not the first body you've seen."

"There's something about that body," said Jane. "It smells of stuff. Stuff even I don't know of."

"And that's why it's in my department!" shouted a man with a cheery voice. He walked up to Jane, with a tweed suit, and brown jacket, with a blue bow tie and braces.

"And you are?" asked Lisbon.

The man pulled out a piece of paper, and flashed it around very quickly.

"Detective john smith," cheered the man. "From the British intelligence. This guy is on our most wanted list."

"Since when do the British have anything to do with a murder here?" asked Wayne Rigsby, who had walked up behind Jane.

"Bullcrap," said Lisbon. "Who are you?"

"Mrs pond!" shouted detective smith. "Mr Williams! Get in here! We're doing an investigation with the… who are you again?"

"We're with the CBI," said Lisbon. "I'm agent Lisbon. This is agent Cho, agent rigsby and our consultant, Patrick Jane."

"Jane, eh?" said detective smith. "So what do you do?"

"You have a gleam in your eye," said Jane. "Like something guilty has just happened. What was it?"

"You have a faint squint in yours," said detective smith. "Did something happen to someone close? A relative perhaps?"

"How about your twitching arm?" asked Jane. "You seem to have lost something."

"And how about your winking?" said smith. "You seem like you think you know me, but you don't know me, at least not yet. Or do you know me? The thing is you have to know me to know me."

"That doesn't make sense," said Jane. "You have something about you that is highly suspicious."

"And you could say the same," said smith. "Pond! Williams! Get in here!"

A small redheaded girl in smartly dressed uniform walked in, and immediately Rigsby as smitten. He had never seen anyone in his life as beautiful. Jane eyed him cautiously, and his gaze turned back to smith. A man followed her, and immediately gave Rigsby an evil look. Rigsby backed down, and Lisbon turned back to the body. Jane walked up to smith, and pulled him away from the others.

"You're not a detective," said Jane. "I can't put my finger on it, but you look like a traveller. And you're name wouldn't be smith, would it?"

"It's amazing you could tell that," said smith. "And you had trouble with a man known as Red John, right?"

Jane gave him a look of suspiciousness. But before he could talk, a gunshot was heard. Everyone looked at each other for a second, then smith sprinted off, with jane not far behind him, both laughing. The fun had only just begun.


	2. how the doctor met his match

Smith had sprinted to the roof, followed by Jane, who both panted at their last run.

"I really enjoy a good jog in the morning," said smith.

Lisbon ran up, and saw a man pointing a gun at a woman's head. Cho and rigsby followed with their weapons raised.

"Do we really need a gunfight?" said smith. "Please, just lower your guns for one second!"

"Lower your weapon!" screamed Lisbon. "Put it on the floor!"

"You don't know me!" shouted the man. "And just keep those three away from me!"

"Who, smith?" called Jane. "He just looks like your ordinary British intelligence guy."

"You don't know him like I do," murmured the man. "There's no way I'm putting the gun down with him around."

"Now just put your gun down," said smith. "We can reason easily."

"Your name's not even smith!" shouted the man. "You're called the doctor!"

"Mrs pond," said smith. "Bring out the containment device."

"The thing is," said the man. "You humans are just too stupid to realise what he is!"

"Why call us humans?" said rigsby. "We're all humans here."

"No, I'm not," said the man, who pushed the girl away from him, and revealed a small wrist device that resembled a watch. He pressed the switch, and turned into a blue man.

"My name is araxus," said the blue man. "And he is the doctor. We are both aliens."

"Is this true, mr smith?" said Lisbon. "Are you an alien?"

"You bet your voice I am," said smith, pulling out a green device. His friend, Mrs pond, pulled out a silver sphere, and smith threw it at araxus, containing him in a purple field.

"Impressive," said Jane. "That explains everything you did. That explains why I didn't get you, the doctor."

"The same with you," said the doctor. "And just call me doctor. And lower your weapons, and no one swear. I hate it when people swear."

Lisbon was unimpressed. She just rolled her eyes.

"Great," she muttered. "Now we have two idiots running this thing."

"Thank you," said the doctor. "But the preferred term is time lord. And the thing is, time lords can read people, Mr jane. But I can't read you, because you have one of the greatest minds on the planet, which means you can't read me, either."

"So did your people send you?" asked cho.

"My people are dead," said the doctor. "In a massive time war. I killed them all."

"Then you're an intergalactic criminal," said Jane.

"Actually, I only killed my people to save them from being murdered," said the doctor shamefully. "And I became a coward, even though I fought and murdered the daleks. Anywho, Mr and Mrs Williams are my companions. There names are Amy and Rory."

"Nice to meet you," said Jane. "How about we go back to the CBI building, Lisbon and your friends can interrogate araxus, and me and you can have a cup of tea."

"And a plate of jammie dodgers and a fez?" asked the doctor.

"I can get you the jammie dodgers," said Jane. "I'll see if I can find a fez."

"Excellent," said the doctor. "Here we go, Geronimo."

"Cho, you and rigsby see if anyone else is involved," said Lisbon. "I have to keep an eye on you two."

"Let me help," said Amy. "The doctor's quite a handful. Rory, you go with these two to find grexus."

"Grexus?" asked Lisbon.

"Our criminal who murdered your friend," said the doctor. "Now, how about those jammie dodgers?"

Everyone walked out, and Jane and the doctor had big smiles on their faces.


End file.
